Funny Wedding Vows for Couples Who Have Been Together and Have Children Together
We've shared lots of advice for writing vows, but our last huge roundup of vow examples was a long time ago… so we worked with readers to gather their wedding vow scripts and examples from their weddings.
We pulled out some of our favorite funny, sweet, sniffle-inducing (I'm not crying, it's just been raining on my face!), and realistic vows from their submissions, and are sharing them here for your inspiration. Tissues are a must when we get to talking about wedding vow ideas, so get 'em ready!
We've credited each set of vows to the Offbeat Bride who submitted it to us — it should be noted that folks pull their vow inspiration from allllllll over the place, so if you want to include some of these words in YOUR vows, it might be worth googling the phrases you love so that you can understand a bit more about where the vows may have originated. We leave the power in your hands!
Vows that reference seasons instead of "in sickness and in health"
P: L, let us marry today. We belong to each other, so today, we'll declare it.
L: We'll be together, and our lives will give balance to each other and form a catalyst to bring out the awesomeness in you and I.
P: We will be advocates for each other, to lend a helping hand, to mark a challenge to meet, or even just to stand by with understanding and approval.
L: We will work goodness, not just in each other's lives, but we will strive to nurture goodness to our loved ones, our community, and our home.
Both: Our loyalty to each other will be tempered by a commitment to live by a melding of truth, grace, and admiration, throughout our lives, both in winters and summers.
Do you vow to join each other in this marriage?: We do.
Submitted by Lizziemeg
Vows about washing dishes
I vow to be faithful in sickness and in health, during times of want and plenty.
I will encourage you to grow and change.I vow to be your family in distance and in closeness, in sorrow and in triumph.
I will build a life with you.I vow to make time to be outdoors with you.
I will be brave when crossing creeks.I vow to use a recipe as a guideline when fixing meals.
I will delight in our many adventures and challenges.I vow to laugh with you in good times and to solace you when you are downhearted.
I will come to mutual decisions with you.I vow to be a quality roommate.
I will wash more dishes.I vow to tolerate your icy toes.
I will continue to play with you until we grow old and decrepit.I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen you patient and frayed.
I will strive to not take you for granted.You are my favorite person, and I choose you to be my partner in life.
I vow to take you as my husband.
My heart is yours.
Will you exchange your heart for mine?
Will you be my family?"
Submitted by AngelaMelissa
Vows that involve pouring a drink at the altar
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I vow to love and care for you as long as we both shall live.
(Pours partner a drink)
I take you with all your faults and strengths as I offer myself to you — with all my faults and strengths.
I vow to help you when you need help and turn to you when I need help.
I vow to choose you, every day, over and over, in good times and bad.
And with this ring, I take you to be my lawfully-wedded [husband/wife], my constant friend, my partner-in-crime, and my love from this day forward.
– Submitted by mskate
Vows about toes and old age
Him: I love the faces you make when you stretch, I love that you let me tickle you as much as I do, and I love that I can truly be myself with you, as crazy I can be, and you love me all the more for it.
Me: I love you for never being afraid to be silly with me, for putting up with my unique sense of humor, and for giving me the privilege of being the only one who knows how truly hilarious you are.
Him: I love your immense capacity for love, whether it's directed at me, your family, two little frogs, or for your stuffed animals.
Me: I love you for being my best and most supportive friend, for always treating me with love, trust, and respect, and for your infinite understanding and patience.
Him: I love the passion, determination, and perseverance you maintain in everything you do. It has always been, and I know it will always be, an inspiration.
Me: I love you for always believing in me, for making me feel strong, and for helping me to believe in myself.
Him: I vow to always bring you water at night, tuck you in and give you Raspberry [my teddy bear] in the morning, make you tea when you're sick, and give you Ibuprofen one pill at a time when you need it.
Me: I promise to grab your toes with my toes when we cuddle at night, and when old age has robbed my toes of their monkey-like dexterity, I will just place my feet gently against yours until we fall asleep together like we always have.
Him: I vow to always give you your space when you need it and to always be understanding and supportive, no matter how stressed you get.
Me: I promise I will always be your partner in life, whether you need someone to help you get through tough times, someone to support you as you work towards your goals in life, or just someone to brush your teeth with.
Him: I vow to always talk to you when I'm struggling, hurt, or sad. Thank you for the patience you've always had for me.
Me: I promise to always be open and honest with you, even though it might take me until right before we go to sleep to get the words out.
Submitted by caco3
Vows that never trying to change your partner
Dan: Do you promise to kill spiders and everything else that Monica deems creepy or gross?
If you ever find yourself sinking in a paddle boat, do you attest that it is your turn to swim?
Do you promise to let Monica rein you in at the music store, because you probably have enough guitars, for now?
Do you promise to try not to steal the covers at night or beat Monica up because you're having that ninja dream again?
Do you vow to embrace Monica's love of the ocean and enjoy it with her as often as is feasible?Monica: Do you promise to attend car shows with Dan and at least pretend to show interest in horsepower, engines, and custom modifications, even if you have no idea what he's talking about?
Do you promise to go fishing, provided Dan takes care of anything slimy, scaly, pokey, or just plain mean-spirited?
Do you promise to let Dan rein you in at the shoe store, because you probably have enough shoes, for now?
Do you promise to scoop the kitty litter and try not to bring home any more strays?
Do you promise not to complain about how loud Dan plays his guitar, unless or until the neighbors complain?Do you both promise to be supportive of each other as individuals, never trying to change the other; to support and encourage, and give all that you've got to give to make each other's dreams come true?
With this ring I do promise to love you unconditionally… and make each tomorrow the best it can be.
-Submitted by Monica
Vows that emphasize independence and respect
You cannot possess me for I belong to myself.
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine.You cannot command me, for I am a free person,
but from this day it shall be only your name I cry out in the night,
and into your eyes that I smile each morning.
I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine.
I shall serve you in those ways you require,
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.I shall respect you as I respect myself. Our love is never-ending, and we will remain, forevermore, equals in our marriage. Above and beyond all this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.
By the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart,
I take thee to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one.
Mo anam cara, tugaim mo chroi duit go siorai.
Submitted by MrsVaultHunter
Vows about honesty and sharing
Bride's vows:
I vow to be there. I will be there for you through the exceptional times and the miserable times.
I will be there with you through the silly times and the stinky times, which, on occasion, are the same time.
I vow to love you. I will keep on loving you for the million little things you do that make you unique and make me smile. I will even love you for the little things you do that make me frown, because they are also part of who you are.
I vow to support you. I will support you in every endeavor emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I would include physically, but I've tried that, and you're just too heavy.
I vow to be honest. I will be honest with my actions and my words. I will stay true to you, always trustworthy and faithful. I will be straightforward and tell you when I am in need of your presence, your love, your support, and your honesty.
Most of all, I vow to say yes every time you ask me to marry you.Groom's vows:
I vow to share myself completely. I offer all that I am, in hopes that you'll do the same.
I vow to love you more. After each win, after each fight, after each laugh.
I vow to go anywhere with you. The window seat is yours, if you'll share your arm rest.
I vow, with you, to fix one small, broken part of the world.
Most of all, I vow to say yes every time you ask me to marry you.
Submitted by orangewed476
Vows about how scary promises are
Promises scare me. Maybe I'm too cautious in making them, fearing that changes in circumstance or changes in myself will take the ground out from under me someday. But promises can remind me of solid ground when things seem shaky.
Here are the promises I can joyfully give you:
I promise to be honest and not just superficially honest; relating accurate facts isn't enough. I promise to show you the deep truth about who I am.
I promise to listen, especially when it's hard, because that's when I most need to hear what you have to say.
I promise to notice the gifts you give me and to appreciate them: your kisses, your kindness, your patience, your humor, your effort.
I promise to take care of myself and let you help take care of me. I promise to encourage you to take care of yourself and help take care of you however I can.
I promise to invest in us, all the work and all the risk, because I can see the rewards every day.
I promise to be your partner, half of a team, working toward the same goal: happiness, together
Submitted by clairejv
Vows about when you knew your partner was the one
I knew you were the one for me the day I met you, and each day since has only made me more sure. I have loved you all the days I've known you, and I always will.
I have learned so much from you (like, don't put back the pizza Lunchables). I love that you challenge me to think more, explain more, and understand more. I enjoy sharing with you all I know and learning from your knowledge and experience. Being with you, talking to you, growing with you has made me into the person I am. I am so grateful to have you in my life, by my side, as my partner, and so proud today to take you as my husband.
I vow to be your strongest supporter, your biggest fan. I vow to pick you up when life knocks you down and be by your side always. I promise to encourage you to pursue your dreams and reach your goals. I vow to comfort you, protect you, encourage you, and challenge you. I vow to be faithful to you, to be honest with you, and to be patient with you. I vow to learn from my mistakes, to grow from our struggles. I vow to keep you near me in spirit when we must be apart. I promise to always remember the little things, like kissing you goodnight. And most of all, I vow to love you openly, fiercely, and forever.
Submitted by LucyBell6
Vows about both loving AND liking your partner
Our first walk together, to Scott Base, was cold… very, very cold. Wrapped in my "big red," I couldn't feel a thing! And while this walk was considerably warmer, I can't seem to contain my feelings today. I felt every moment.
Someone once told me, 'Marriage is as big an adventure as Antarctica and totally worth it.' I am ready, today, to begin that adventure with you.
You propel me forward. You are my Point B, my X-marks-the-spot, and love is my compass rose.
You are the calm before and after a storm. Your patience keeps me grounded. You make me laugh and giggle. You are good and humble. You are fun and happy. You are sweet and stable.
When everyone walks around telling me how amazing you are, reminding me that you are great, I'm reminded of all the reasons I am choosing to be with you today and every day.
You are the point source of my inspiration and the anchor of my patience. You help to make me better every day, and I try to be that for you!
In this expansive universe of space and stardust, I found you. The perfect conglomeration of cells and atoms. The person I wish to spend my life with.So I promise…
I promise to talk and to listen.
I promise to stand by you and challenge you.
I promise to give and to be present.
I promise to give you half the cream cheese I would want on a bagel.
I promise to under jelly your sandwiches but over toast them.
But most of all I promise to work on this, on us. I promise to try. I promise to choose you and us and our family every day. I promise to set aside my pride and work on a partnership, filled with two people.
I promise to be great to you.
I love you, and I like you.
Submitted by rialtobeach
Vows that tell a story
Him: Christina, I have all of the stars with you. I have finally found my home, and it's in you. I've never been this sure about love in my entire life, and I cherish every moment we spend together. Being with you has made my life interesting and complete. And if you ever find yourself asking, 'How long will I love you?' you already know the answer to that.
(Side note: He's referencing our first dance song which was 'How Long Will I Love You' by Ellie Goulding)
I, Nathan, choose you, Christina, to be my wife. I will respect you, care for you, and grow with you through good times and hard times, as your friend, companion, and partner, giving all that I can to fulfill our lives together.Me: Nathan, I knew that you were the kind of man that I would want as my life partner on our first date. If I had written a list of all the qualities that I wanted and needed in a man, they would have described you perfectly but not done you justice.
You are the most kind, patient, and loving person that I have ever met. I realize exactly how fortunate I am to have found you, my perfect match, in this crazy, overpopulated world. I will always cherish you and what we have and will continue to build our lives together. I will not take you for granted. I will not allow myself to become lazy or complacent. I will continue to work hard to be the wife that you deserve in this life. I will love you for all that you are with all that I am.
I, Christina, choose you, Nathan, to be my husband. I will respect you, care for you, and grow with you through good times and hard times, as your friend, companion, and partner, giving all that I can to fulfill our lives together.
Submitted by goddessofplague
Vows that reference the sun and the stars
I was going to quote some famous author or tell a love story that epitomizes our fated tale. However, I couldn't because everything I found gave no justice to the way I feel when I'm with you. None of them live up to the way my skin shivers when you smile at me or how bad my face hurts from smiling after one of your jokes.
I don't believe in love at first sight. We didn't have that. We knew each other long before there was ever love in our hearts for each other. I do believe in love at first kiss though. I didn't want to admit it then, but I loved you from the moment you kissed me. I never thought you would do it, and when you did, it was like my heart came alive. I never could have dreamed that I would love someone as much as I love you.
You are my sun and stars.
Thank you for loving me. Because of your love I feel like I can face anything, so for that I promise myself to you.
I promise to always give you my kisses, my smiles, my hugs, my laughter, my tears, my hopes, and my fears.
I promise to always eat weird food at strange hours and to laugh at horribly inappropriate things with you.
I promise I will say I'm sorry when I am wrong — though we both know I never am — and to forgive you when you are.
I vow to always make fun WITH you or at least to kiss you after making fun OF you.
I will always race you to the car.
I won't try to stop you from falling, learned my lesson on that one, but I will help you up afterwards.
I vow to always support your dreams, even if they scare the crap out of me.
I will always encourage you to be a better man, to reach your goals and to live your life in a way that will make our family proud.
I promise to always say 'I love you,' even if we fight, because you should always know how much you mean to me.
I vow to always smile when you laugh and hug you when you cry.
I swear to never take you for granted and will always say thank you for everything you do and all the love you give.
I will always hold your hand because when you hold mine, my nerves calm, I sleep better, and though not all may be right with the world, all is right with us.
Above all: I will ALWAYS love you… forever.
Underwear. (inside joke from Minions)
Submitted by CylestTyler
Vows that are a bulleted list
I vow…
- to be your life buddy, openly sharing in your adventures and inviting you along on mine
- to continue to strive for clear communication of my needs and expectations and to hear and respect yours
- to care for you in times of need and rouse you in times of complacency
- to nurture the mental, physical, and spiritual health of myself, you, our union, and our family
- to be your joyful companion and to love you always with all my being
Submitted by smallblondeone
Vows about being slow to anger and quick to forgive
With love, understanding, and determination, and with the welcome support of our families, friends, and community, we affirm these promises to each other:
We pledge our mutual trust and respect.
We will provide support and encouragement for personal and mutual growth. We will grant each other the freedom to change and to nurture and fulfill dreams.
As friends and companions, we will be open, honest, loyal, and devoted to one another. We will share and celebrate in life's joys, we will brace and shelter each other through its storms, and we will assist and guide each other in the future path of our joined lives, whether dark or bright.
We will appreciate our differences and enjoy together the traditions we have each inherited.
We commit to create a home filled with love and peace, kindness, and compassion, warmth and generosity. We will strive to be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness.
We promise to always give our love a fighting chance.
And, of course, we promise to dance.
Submitted by msiamjan
Vows with ring exchange script
LM's vow:
J, this day I pledge my everlasting love and commitment to you.
I take you to be my partner, loving the person I know and trusting what I do not yet know.
As we journey through married life, I look forward to getting to know the person you will become and to growing old disgracefully with you.
I love that I'm a better person for knowing you. You're the coolest person I know, and I promise to always be your biggest supporter and most loyal roadie.
If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 93 minus 1 day, so I never have to be without you.(to both)
Does your heart beat solely for this person?
And do you swear to stand together against all who would oppose you?
Do you freely and with good intent enter this marriage?J, please place the ring on LM's left hand and repeat after me:
LM, I give you this ring as a reminder
That I will love, honor, and cherish you.LM please place the ring on J's left hand and repeat after me:
I give you this ring as a reminder that my home will forever be where you are
I promise to love and respect you always, whatever life may bring us.
With this ring, you have my sword, my bow, and my axe.The pledges you have just made are a statement of present intent and commitment. They cannot endure unless you make them endure. The spoken word holds no hidden power within itself, for we are not wizards, and human ingenuity has never yet devised an unbreakable vow.
We have developed law and conscience as keepers of our sacred pledges, but ultimately true pledges of love are kept out of hard work and choice. So it is not to words or institutions that we appeal at this moment of commitment, but to the resources upon which you can draw on from within yourselves.
Submitted by littlemadge
Vows about companionship
S: B, today I take you to be my husband and my companion for life. Your love, loyalty, and brilliance inspire me to be the best person I can be. I pledge to walk this journey with you over rough roads and smooth, in conflict and tranquility, to share your joys and split your sorrows. I vow to create a home with you that is filled with art, good food, tea, love, and laughter. I promise to be your shelter and your support. I am yours, from this day until the end of days.
B: S, today I take you to be my wife and my companion for life. Your love, loyalty, and creativity inspire me to be the best person I can be. I pledge to walk this journey with you over rough roads and smooth, in conflict and tranquility, to share your joys and split your sorrows. I vow to create a home with you that is filled with great movies, music, good books, love, and laughter. I promise to be your shelter and your support. I am yours, from this day until the end of days.
S: At this point, some people would describe these rings as circles with no beginning or end, but in fact these rings do have a beginning. Matter collided in space, coalescing into metal that found its way onto the surface of the Earth, where it was mined and smelted and hammered and formed into rings.
B: Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It's the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.
B: With this ring, I marry you and pledge you my love, now and forever.
S: With this ring, I marry you and pledge you my love, now and forever
Submitted by selenathegreat
Vows about not sweating the small stuff
The first time I saw you in the green room at the Armstrong, I just kind of knew you were my person. I was instantly comfortable with and intrigued by you, and eight years later, I still am. You are an amazing man who I think brings out the best in me, while also keeping me on my toes. You constantly inspire me to be a better me, to try harder, to be a better friend, to make a better effort not to burn dinner (or the house down). I'm admittedly better at some of these than others, but your trust in me always keeps me going. You know me better than anyone else in this world, and somehow still you love me. I love the woman I am when I am with you. She is fearless and unconditionally loved, and that is such an awesome gift you have given me.
You are truly an amazing man. You are one of the most compassionate people I know, and you have a quirky sense of humor — one of these days I hope you tell me where you hid that mai tai at our first cast party together. I am proud to call you my person, and because of that I make you these promises:
I promise to support you when the world gets too hard and be the safe place you come home to.
I promise to spend October watching nothing but horror movies and Hocus Pocus with you.
I promise to patiently listen to your needs and wants and help make them a reality.
I promise to throw a little love your way when you are mad or scared or stressed.
I promise to trust and value your opinions and stand by your actions.
I promise to respect you, listen to your advice, and occasionally take it without fussing.
I promise to be faithful and loving and to put you and our marriage first.
I promise to not sweat the small stuff, like sock piles and chocolate milk cups.
I promise to keep your life exciting and make marriage our biggest adventure.And I promise to keep updating these as we go. Because one set of vows can't cover a lifetime of growing and changing with you, of someday raising children with you, of falling more and more in love with you every day, which is what I promise to do for the rest of my life.
Submitted by Courters
Vows with promises, pledges, and beliefs
Anna, I love you forever!
May our partnership, our merging of lives feed you, nourish you, mind, body, and spirit. I vow to love you, to help you, to be there for you, for this union is mutual, goes between us, in this world and beyond.
I will always be there for you, to lean on and depend on, I will hold you up like a mountain under your feet.
I will be the walls around you when you need to go within, I will be the river that carries you when you are tired of running. I will be the soft downy warmth around you when the weather turns cold and the fog blows in from the ocean. I will be the clean clear air that you breathe when your lungs are tight from grief. And I will be the sunshine and warm granite that soothes and tickles and teases and brings laughter and lightness to your heart.I stand solid in my love for you. I am and will always be your rock.
With all my heart, strength, and fortitude, from this day forward,
I promise to always wait for you at the top of the hill (and the bottom)
I promise to stroke your hair at night
I promise to be kind and sensitive to your feelings
I promise to always love youI pledge to listen to your advice and even occasionally take it
I pledge to love and cherish you more than my bicycle
I pledge to keep life interesting and exciting
I pledge to always love youI vow to make you smile every day
I vow to wake you up early to catch the morning sunrise
I vow to be true to you, to support you, to challenge you, and to frustrate you
I vow to always love youI believe that we can overcome all obstacles
I believe that hot baths make you happy
I believe our best moments are still in front of us
Because of this and so much more I believe that I will always love youErik, I love you forever!
May our partnership, our merging of lives feed you, nourish you, mind, body and spirit. I vow to love you, to help you, to be there for you, for this union is mutual, goes between us, in this world and beyond.
I will always be there for you, to lean on and depend on, I will hold you up like a mountain under your feet.
I will be the walls around you when you need to go within, I will be the river that carries you when you are tired of running. I will be the soft downy warmth around you when the weather turns cold and the fog blows in from the ocean. I will be the clean clear air that you breathe when your lungs are tight from grief. And I will be the sunshine and warm granite that soothes and tickles and teases and brings laughter and lightness to your heart.I stand solid in my love for you. I am and will always be your rock.
With all my heart, strength, and fortitude, from this day forward
I promise to keep you on your toes,
I promise to keep you from spending our retirement on new tents and bicycle gear.
I promise to keep you from running to the top of the mountain in a lightning storm.
I promise to always make you put your seat belt on.
I promise to always love you.I pledge to create a life for us full of wildness, exploration, and connection with spirit.
I pledge to inspire us to venture into new territory, to be curious and inquisitive about our journey together.
I pledge to be true to myself, to tell you how I feel even when you don't want to know, to push the limits of your comfort zone, to challenge you, to sometimes agree to disagree, even when I know I'm right.
I pledge to always love you.I vow to listen to you, your words, your body, your breath, and let them teach me how to love you.
I vow to be with you, support you, and love you when it's easy and when it's not.
I vow to care for our relationship with constant steadfast nurturing.
I vow to always love you.I believe that it is important for me to know how you feel, what you want, what you care about.
I believe that volleyball and cycling and time to tinker in the garage are essential to your health.
I believe that you are the most nurturing, tender, generous, and loving man I have ever met.
I believe that I have loved you since you told me I was your dream girl on top of Mt. Whitney.
Because of this and so, so much more, I believe that I will always love you.
Submitted by Tuolumne
Vows about horror movies
I remember the first time I saw you, standing in the middle of the dog park, in your maroon leather jacket surrounded by dogs. Little did I know I was experiencing you in your natural environment.
I remember feeling your pulse race right before you told me you love me for the first time.
I remember the look on your face when I said it back a few days later.There are so many things I love about you.
I love your different laughs, and I love when I draw them out of you.
I love how compassionate you are.
I love how loyal you are to everybody you love, and I'm honored to be counted among them.
I never could have imagined that I would get to spend my life with someone as wonderful as you. You are loved by so many, and so much, and by no one more than me.So, today, I'm standing here, promising to stand by your side for the rest of our lives.
I promise to celebrate you for who you are.
I promise to spend October watching nothing but horror movies with you.
I promise to make our marriage my first priority.
And I promise to always strive to be worthy of the love that you give me so openly and freely, and I promise to never take that love for granted.
Submitted by beccajanae
Need more vow writing ideas? Start here:
About the Author: Catherine Clark
Catherine Clark loiters at her local library, makes art, watches movies en masse, plays video and tabletop games, poorly cooks healthy things, cuddles with her feline fur babies, and blogs at BijouxandBits.com.
Source: https://offbeatbride.com/wedding-vow-ideas/
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